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(Perception)
As a magician, obviously the subject
of how things appear (or disappear for that matter) is very important. In
relation to the individual and self-esteem, the ways in which we
see ourselves, as well as our abilities, is a key to
development. This subject is dealt with in great detail, as it
is my belief that how we look at the world and our relation to
it is of primary importance in building a strong base for a
positive self image.
I
feel that it is the most important first "key", because in the
process of developing a better sense of who we are, it is good
to identify our strengths and weaknesses. Being aware of what we
can and cannot do can really help improve our self confidence,
because when we know what we're good at, or what needs work,
then we have a good point of reference for learning other
things.
I have a wonderful illustration about how our first
impressions often can guide us to a limited perception. As an example, three
distinctly different sized ropes are shown. I ask the group if the ropes are the
same or different. They are obviously different lengths, but other than that,
they are all exactly the same, i.e., color, material, each
has a knot
on the end, etc... Interesting how quickly we make distinctions based on size,
color, upbringing, what mom or dad does, how big or small the home is, etc...
My main illustration here is that
while we
do have differences, we share a great deal of similar aspects as well.
Recently, one very astute student raised her hand and said, "We
are all different, and that makes us the same!" This is
precisely my point, that we all have unique talents and
abilities, and that makes us special in our own way. One
particular arena that can cause problems for young people is
that we too often focus on outstanding individuals, placing them
on a "pedestal", making their accomplishments much more
important than other people. A good example is the salaries of
football, basketball, baseball and golf professionals.
Unfortunately, this can cause unrealistic goals if a child is
physically challenged, or happens to be a small white boy who
wants to grow up to be a 7' tall, African-American basketball
player!
This is where I talk about ways in which
we
perceive
ourselves and the world we live in can have a
great impact on what we are able to accomplish.
Much of the time, if we believe we can do something,
there is a much greater likelihood we will be able to do so. However, when we
have a strong disbelief, even if we set out to try, it can
actually keep us from accomplishing what we so strongly desire.
In many instances, someone may say, "Oh, you could NEVER do
that!" which in turn becomes the very incentive necessary to
drive a young person to succeed, where otherwise they might not
have tried in the first place!
Finally, a word about the word 'try'... I once knew a
motivational speaker who brought this most valuable of concepts
to me. He took a pen, set it on his outstretched palm, then
asked the volunteer on stage to "Try and remove the pen from my
hand". She of course reached over, and picked up the pen. He
then said, "No, I want you to try to pick it up. You did
pick it up!" There is a subtle difference, but one that is worth
noting. It is a matter of perception. A matter of thought. We
often look at a situation, and being uncertain of our ability,
we may say, "Ok, I'll try". Many times, when we do that, we have
set up an unconscious "pattern" that makes it very difficult to
accomplish the task. Especially when learning new skills (like
Algebra or Geometry, for instance) the perceived
difficulty makes the process of learning entirely impossible so
that no matter what one does, there is no way they will learn.
On the other hand, the reverse is also true, in that if we
approach learning new things from an excited and enthusiastic
attitude, we greatly increase the possibility for success!
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